I think it normal for everyone at some point, or quite often, to think “what have I done or experienced that is of any value up till this point?” It would be wrong to say that the thought does not enter my head every so often. Thankfully, this unhealthy train of thought is susceptible to simple reflection and I realize that in between my boring life of University, video games and slight socializing, I have had some experiences which people could write short, badly written novels about. Most of these experiences come thanks to my summers tree planting or the little traveling I’ve done. Some stories will never escape my lips(or at the very least never be written on this blog) and others I think I will begin to share. I want to write these here for no other reason than as a way to remember these exciting moments in my life and as an appreciation for the art of creative non-fiction.

Part One – Thomas the Cook:

There is an old tree planting dictum that states: “the cook is your best friend”. This is even more so true when one has dietary concerns. Being friendly with your camp cook can mean larger portions, faster seconds and their willingness to make you delicious food in lieu of a special diet; in my case veganism. A cooks job is not an easy one; Up at 4am, short nap in the afternoon and then cooking/cleaning from 3pm till 11 or 12 at night. So imagine cooking for a camp of 30-40 people while having to prepare a separate meal for one or two people. Needless to say, I’ve stopped short of bribery to ensure the cook and I get along. The camp cook serves several important functions in the life of the tree planter aside from providing sustenance; they are the largest morale boost short of the hottub on a day off. After working for 10 to 12hrs in the bitter cold and rain; burning 2000-3000 calories, food becomes our oasis. Some of my fondest memories these past 5 years involve food in some way. Cold, soggy fajitas after a 17hr day and a third degree burn or eating lasagne with Sam in our work truck at 11pm after we rescued a badly injured Elizabeth and rushed her through 100km of logging roads to the hospital.

In my 5 years of tree planting, 4 have been nothing short of spectacular in regards to the cooking. Teresa, Jen, Abe, Katherine and Vanessa have been amazing cooks and people. Teresa in particular will always hold a place in my heart. Teresa was the cook that people warned me I would never have. She went out of her way to make everyone happy and ensured we were well-fed. Smoothies every morning, sushi, fresh bread and soup every night. We had it far too good to be perfectly honest. I landed in Prince George at the beginning of my third year and found out Teresa had moved on. This is where the story of Thomas the cook begins…

Our camp converged on our yearly orientation meeting in Prince George with rumours swirling. Teresa had left, the new cook Thomas seemed really nice, he used to own a vegan restaurent in India and was a vegetarian cook from Ottawa. I couldn’t have been happier. In the dank conference hall of the German owned motel we were in, my eyes focused on a tallish man with a moustache and fedora, arms crossed and sitting on a table facing the crowd. This was Thomas and when it came time for him to address the crowd, his kurt, brutish manner managed not to betray our expectations for the summer ahead. As is my custom, I approached Thomas after orientation in order to introduce myself and offer to help out in any way, considering my dietary limitations. His response: “Vegan? Yeah. We’ll see what happens.”

His lack luster cooking did not however, betray his cold response. For a cook claiming to have owned a proper vegan restaurant, his use of canned food and frozen vegetables lacked quite the imagination. While the meat-eaters enjoyed their steaks, et al, the vegetarians and vegans were stuck with repetitive, terrible meal choices. I went to bed hungry more often than not and our displeasure became very apparent. Three weeks into our season and we began to witness the crazy side of Thomas. His wonderful assistant quit in a stream of tears after having obscenities hurled at her and Thomas barely spoke a word to anyone in camp. So now that Thomas was the only cook in camp, the food situation for the vegetarians became worse than it had been. By this point, Thomas scared us to the point where no one dared question his cooking and morale was low. Do not forget the point to which food plays a critical role in our lives. We stopped speaking of food on our rides home except to complain or express pity for the vegetarians. The atmosphere in the mess tent was sullen and bleak. Our oasis of food was revealed to be a mirage, an illusion of Teresa and a joke on the word edible.

After another meal of frozen vegetables and unpalatable goop, I hit my breaking point and took up our case with the camp supervisor, Jim. Upon our return to camp after our day off, I saw Thomas unloading the food for the coming week. I was walking towards my tent when I heard a whistle followed by Thomas calling my name. I met him behind the school bus kitchen where I met him sitting on a ramp, slightly elevated above me.
“What is your problem” He asked, cold eyes locked on me.
“Excuse me?”
“Are you such an ass that you couldn’t talk to me about my cooking”
“Well you are not the most approachable person AND, it is Jim’s job to deal with this”
“What’s wrong with my cooking? You’re the ONLY person who seems to hate it. I asked all the vegetarians in camp and they love my cooking!” – Thomas was an intimidating figure. The majority of people who told him his cooking was decent had done so out of fear.
“That is not what I have heard. You feed us mostly frozen veggies…etc”
“Why the fuck did you go to Jim?” His hands were gripping the edge of the ramp and his body kept lurching towards me.
“It’s his job, calm down Thomas. What is your problem? Stop yelling.”
“Problem?” He brought his face down within centimetres of mine. “You want to see a fucking problem? How about I headbutt you, then you’ll have a fucking problem”
I don’t exactly remember what happened next but visibly shaken, I most likely uttered something embarrassingly awkward and walked away. I made my way across camp to a work truck in which sat Sam and Tim. As I explained to them what had just occurred, voice trembling, we noticed Thomas sitting inside a truck opposite us. He sat staring, not moving a muscle except to slowly drink from his beer. He sat there with his gaze fixed for the next half an hour. The next morning I nervously waited in line for Thomas to serve breakfast. Thomas looked me in the eyes and said:
“Since you’re so special and have such special needs, I’m not going to feed you.” That morning I had no breakfast and that night, my friends had to sneak me my supper. This ended the next morning when Jim exchanged choice words with Thomas.

This is where the bi-polarity of Thomas and his insanity took new and different turns. Thomas, now forced to feed me, refused to look me in the eye as I refused to look in his. Slowly he began to alienate more and more planters. Dani and Jess incurred his wrath and he began to loudly complain that we were not holding our plates high enough for him to properly serve us food. The strangest thing during this time was that Thomas began acting like my best friend. Huge smiles, friendly greetings and a vast improvement in the quality of my food. I was perplexed. Though our relationship had outwardly improved, his manner became more inexplicable. Thomas began sleeping inside the kitchen bus. When informed of such a health hazard, he set up his tent on the roof of the bus and someone caught Thomas filling up our camps juice reserves with lake water instead of the purified water at hand. The nail in the insanity coffin however, was his behaviour when left alone. Joel, a planter, had injured himself and spent his days doing menial tasks in camp. Thomas would sporadically sneak up behind Joel, laugh maniacally in his face and walk away in silence. Or if they were to pass each other, Thomas would literally scream gibberish in Joel’s face and then continue on his way.

With the culmination of these events and the inability of our company to find a replacement cook(something I still take issue with) a meeting was called. Instead of our usual meeting in camp, Jim made us drive several kilometres down the road, so as to speak privately with the 50 of us. We aired our grievances, spoke loudly over each other, expressed our fears and were eventually told that we would have to deal with him for our final 3 weeks. With one week left to go in our season and Thomas appearing as normal as he’d ever been, he just suddenly disappeared. Our season was going to be extended by an extra week and Thomas had already booked his flight home. So a day before his flight and with a week still left in our season, he “fell off a ramp and injured his back” and had to be driven into town. What a mess. The season ended with a great cook who was forced to leave her other camp.

There was a polarity to Thomas that spoke to a severe mental illness. He had reduced an assistant to tears several times over, threatened me with physical violence and refused to feed me only to reverse course and act as my best friend two weeks later. He smiled at us one day, scowling the next and abused his authority in hazardous ways. Three years ago, this was one of my first encounters with the rope-walk of mental illness and how poorly that reality co-exists with a broader reality. The world of the mentally ill does exists in an alternate universe, albeit one that runs alongside our own. This is something I would later see in myself and in many others. Thomas taught me valuable lessons in diplomacy and stress, as well as in how to deal with psychosis in the work place. In much the same way that my worse days as a tree planter begat life lessons and positive memories, this episode has turned into a great story to tell as well as a lesson for our entire camp and more importantly, our company.

There is little that frightens me while tree planting. Being the tallest object in a clearcut, holding a metal shovel and standing in boots with metal spikes during a lightning storm however, does.
This is all to say, we’ve had a lot of rainy, wet, cold days this year. More than I can remember. We’ve had two days cancelled on account of snow, one of those days occurring only 2 weeks ago. The last 2 shifts planting in Quesnel, BC had rain falling on us each and every day. The problem with this is that after two days of rain…all the clothes are soaked and cold with no hope of drying.

Planting itself has been good this season. Too good. We spent those two rainy shifts planting trenched land(lines of dirt in neatish rows that require no thought) and most of us planted very high numbers. I broke my personal best and collapsed from exhaustion 200 trees away from a planting milestone.
I cannot properlly express that feeling of exhaustion to you. You stumble and talk to yourself and cannot think straight. It is a paradox in planting; if you don’t take breaks to eat during the day you’ll have more time to plant but if you don’t take breaks to eat you won’t be able to plant.

We are now in the surprisingly sunny Vanderhoof region of British Columbia and one day in I am looking forward to a day off.

I believe lifestyles that are based on a strong social aspect or common cause are the most difficult to leave. When I am in camp on a sunny day, surrounded by friends and not planting, I find it hard to think about saying goodbye.
The job itself is easy enough to imagine leaving. The people, lifestyle, my tent, campfires, occasional adventure and landscape however, not so much.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the comfort of a warm bed in a warm room in my lovely city as much as anyone else but I’ve come to really love and be comfortable in a tent.

The outdoors are another aspect of my life I can be geeky about. I went for a true-blooded city boy to one who can talk your ear off about tents and raingear material and hiking, etc.

When this is over, I mean really over, I don’t know what I’ll do with myself!? Maybe a bike tour next summer? Maybe a month on the Appalachian trail?

A lot of people have asked me about my Australia plans. As I expected, things are up in the air. It’s still a good possibility but certain aspects of the trip have not fallen into place. Updates will follow and regardless of what happens, an adventure is sure to come.

We are a plague of locusts. The black cloud of grime and dirt that follows a group of planters in a city is gross, icky and nothing short of smelly. We invade small towns on our days off and troll the coffee shops and libraries in search of internet connections and food. We stand out and we inspire smiles from happy shopowners and contempt from indignant locals. Nothing is more cringe worthy than the looks on the faces of the three locals whose hottub we invaded. A thick layer of grime settled on the water and they made a hasty retreat.

This was evidenced today when at least 3 planting companies invaded the small town of Quesnel. We reached our planting block only to find ourselves surrounded by a blizzard and a foot of snow on the ground. So here we are, back in town after our first day off. The pool is packed with planters and the locals can do nothing but grimace as the locusts reign.

We are now two shifts deep into the season. We found ourselves in a foremans backyard with cell reception and 3G internet access. When we had a tough day, we just had to drive 5 minutes into town and we could be in a hottub. Needless to say, it was not the “full” tree planting experience I was used to. Now we’ve moved to the other side of town and are deep into the woods. I’m camped beside a beaver dam and we’ve had to bury a few moose corpses; the true planter experience.

More on the actual plaanting next week.

The old saying If only I knew then what I know now is rarely more accurate than in the tree planting bubble. There is a wealth of information available on the internet but making your way through it without reference and arriving at a practical conclusion is next to impossible. If I had listened to some of the older members of certain tree planting message board 5 years ago, I wouldn’t have brought an iPod with me! How ridiculous that would have been in retrospect. There are essential items that I have done without for 4 years and it has always been at the expense of comfort and warmth. There are essential items I’ve had from day one and I do not know how I could have lived without.

With this in mind I’ve decided to make a short list of the items I believe to be absolutely essential to a productive, warm and comfortable tree planting season:

-Tent: People survive perfectly well with 50$ Canadian Tire tents. They are waterproof and offer the headroom most technical tents lack. But all it takes is one snowstorm, one windstorm or a deluge of rain to level your tent, leaving your expensive goods soaked or broken. Spend the money on a 3 person tent from a reputable company, take care of it and you’ll have it for years to come. During a heavy snowfall 2 years ago, my 250$ MEC tent was one of the only tents to not collapse overnight.

-Rain gear: My first year tree planting, it rained for 21 days in a row! It sucks to be wet and cold, I cannot tell you how much it sucks to be cold and wet. Spend a little bit of extra money on good rain gear. Don’t buy 50$ plastic crap and don’t buy a cheap poncho. Seriously. You need something that will keep you dry after a full day of torrential rain and something that will breath during those sunny gaps. Good rain gear will also cut the wind and keep you warm(I wear a fleece sweater underneath my jacket and bike in the winter). Gore-Tex or other membranes are probably your best bet but if you cannot afford it, there are less expensive and great alternatives(North Face Hyvent or MEC Yoho as an example).
Also, it’s a good idea to bring an extra jacket. A 60$ K-Way packs up super small and is great for emergencies. I lost my rain jacket 2 weeks into my 2nd season and can clearly remember hiding behind a giant spruce tree with my hands down my crotch, shivering furiously for an hour. This was followed by a moment of madness and the stripping off of my clothing for the rest of the day.

-Sleeping Bag: A synthetic -7C sleeping bag with a fleece liner. Do it.

-Sleeping Pad: 4 years of tree planting and I have never owned a proper sleeping pad. You’ll usually find me running to the dollar store a few hours before my flight to buy a 1$ “yoga mat”. I am an idiot, don’t be one too. Because your body squishes the insulation on the bottom of your sleeping bag, you end up losing a lot of heat through the ground. A good sleeping pad will insulate you, keeping the cold away. Buy a short pad with an R-Value of at least 2.5 and you’ll be set.

-iPod: Anyone I’ve met who didn’t bring an iPod or an MP3 player larger than 4gb’s, either regretted their decision immediately or were of a disposition that edged closer to ‘sociopath’ than anything else. Music is a lifesaver. You are alone for 8-12 hours a day and without music you will find yourself going mad. An upside is that music blocks out the sound of mosquitos. A down side is that is also blocks out the sound of that wasp nest you just planted your shovel into. Bring an extra pair of shitty headphones and make sure to store your MP3 player somewhere clean(I wrap mine in clear lunchbags and duct tape).

-Fleece/Layering: It wasn’t until last year that I discovered the magic of fleece. Cotton is the worst material you can have in the woods. When cotton gets wet, it gets cold and stays cold. Go to Value Village and buy a fleece zip-up. Fleece and wool help regulate your body temperature and stay warm when wet. I winter bike and wear a fleece zip-up with a waterproof hardshell and wether it’s 0C or -40C i’m always warm and dry. Learn to layer properly with the right material and you will have a comfortable season.

-Gloves: My biggest issue are my hands. They get insanely cold and I become insanely miserable. I would recommend keeping a pair of gloves in your day bag to warm your hands up during breaks and I would recommend wearing a warm and waterproof glove on your shovel hand.

-Frisbee: One half entertainment and one half dinner plate. Enough said.

Money is always an issue. Most people who tree plant are poor students and it can be hard to justify spending so much money on gear. Look at it like an investment. Spend the money on good gear, pay it off during your first season and you’ll never have to worry about it again.
I’ll add to the list if anything else comes to mind.

There is always a silver lining to bad situations. If the tree planting motto is Hurry Up And Wait, it could very well be followed by Don’t Panic.
For those who are thinking of going tree planting or are waiting to start their first year, let me tell you that patient is the only real virtue in the north; and money…is money a virtue? You will no doubt be told that you are absolutely starting your season on May 5th. You will almost certainly book your flight with this information in mind only to be told several days later that you are in fact, only starting on the 9th. You will call you airline and indignantly agree to the 250$ re-booking fee. The ultimate kick in the metaphorical testicles will be when the very next day, you’ll receive word that you are in fact starting on the 10th; information which could have saved you 150$ had you known of it the previous day. You will no doubt begin to experience odd heart palpitations and an Arkansas tornado season style headache. Be prepared.
The silver lining of course is that this will give you a few extra days to prepare for the long summer that awaits you.

This is all to say that yes, I am returning for a 5th season. A 5th season! This year though, I do not plan on staying long. The sunny beaches, burning barbies and Foster’s of Australia(<3 Chris) are calling my name, as well as the possibility of spending a good part of my summer in a rather beachless Montreal. It has been a wonderful year so far. School went extremely well and I spent the last few months working with some great people in a camping/outdoor goods store. The latter has given me the technical know-how and confidence that I lacked in previous years. As such, I feel that I am going to at the very least be a little warmer, dryer and comfortable this season. New and lighter coat, new bag, new sleeping bag, less clothing, less camera gear, warmer socks, fleece, fleece, fleece.